Heavenly Glimpses Blog, 2011
It wasn’t a fairytale love story.
Shuffling into the restaurant –about six of us near strangers scrambled to find our seats. I nonchalantly pulled back the chair and sat next to him—the one I hadn’t yet made eye contact with. I peered across the table, tuning out the words of my boisterous friend, who meandered to the topic of, “God is just an idea…” We’d been here before. It was a topic I learned to ignore. I wouldn’t be persuaded nor would I persuade her. I avoided those conversations that challenged the core of what I believed.
The next thing I knew, that guy sitting next to me was speaking up. I don’t recall those exact words that straightened my posture, but I recall having no choice but to chime in. We alternated affirmations, with complimenting points, “Yeah, and…,” “Right, and…” My eyes began to widen and my heart sprang forth as I was overtaken by the proclamations of this guy. It was as though I noticed him for the first time. Once our conversation came to a close, I returned home intrigued…
Who was that guy who boldly proclaimed a belief in the one true God?
Who was that guy who said he owned over 100 Christian CDs? Do that many Christian artists even exist?
Who was that guy who grabbed my attention and literally woke me up?
You see, I had grown up knowing Jesus Christ as my Savior. I had known He was good and that He loved me. I had trusted Him. I just wasn’t willing to trust Him with my whole life. I had decided I knew better than anyone what I was looking for in the love department. After all, I had imagined how I would be gallantly pursued and rescued in my childhood fairytale dreams. I wasn’t looking for a godly guy, someone who was trusting God with his whole life. I didn’t believe those kinds existed. Simply, the more a good-looking, decent guy pursued me, the more likely he was to win my heart.
None-the-less, several men came and went in my life. I was over it. I remember remarking to a friend that if the next guy (whom I had already scoped out as heroic) was not the one, then there would be no one for me. I believed that. I was tired of disappointment; tired of gambling in a game that was being played too casually with my heart.
Something changed that round. I had inevitably been pursued, however, not by the “next guy.” That ended, too. I remember that day well, humbled by my circumstances; when compromise would no longer camouflage my existence. Oh, how I wanted to run; crawl into a hole—but there I was backed up against the wall of my own captivity. I knew what I had to do. I threw my arms up—finally—and surrendered. I admitted I couldn’t control this outcome. I had already compromised the belief that there was something more. I had compromised what my heart deeply desired and was deeply yearning for—God. I surrendered my choices and committed to allowing God to take the pen and write this story. That is the moment God gathered all of the fragmented pieces of my life and started putting them together.
One month later, I pulled back the chair and sat next to him…
God remains the heart of our passion, which is the most rewarding kind you will ever know.
“That guy” and I have been married now for twenty-one years and have four beautiful children together. He is the man that makes my heart overflow with gratitude every time I think about how he met the deeper desire of my heart—to know God and to grow in this area with someone.
He wasn’t the one who rescued me like I had imagined in my fairytale dreams. But the One who had been pursuing me all along did rescue me from my dire predicament and gave me more in a man than my eyes could have possibly foreseen on my own.
God used the circumstances of my relationships to draw me back to Himself and showed me that I had to make Him first in my life. This uncommon script—one of full surrender—has laid the foundation to an abundant marriage that works because God remains the heart of our passion, which is the most rewarding kind you will ever know.
If you are waiting for the one God has planned for your life, consider surrendering your mind, heart and choices to Him first.
